Penile Fractures: A Christmas Carol – GWC Mag

Here is a new (and typically idiotic) edition of The J-Man Chronicles. Enjoy

Don’t blame me. Two people (one of them is on our staff – heh heh) sent this to me. Independently. It’s probably just a coincidence.

But it’s true. A new study entitled “Penile Fractures: The Price of a Merry Christmas,” which was published in the must-read British Journal of Urology International, concluded:

The incidence of penile fractures displays a seasonality. Last Christmas penile fractures occurred more often.

Pyrgidis, et. al., BJUI (2023)  https://doi.org/10.1111/bju.16216

What to do?

Rather than analyze the study – how it was done, why it was done, etc. it was absolutely screaming to be turned into a Christmas carol. Enjoy.

 

Guard your wiener in the winter.

Fa la la la la – la la la la

If you don’t, you’ll need a splint, sir

Fa la la la la – la la la la

Treat it gently when you shake it

Fa la la – fa la la –  la la la

Tis the season when you’ll break it

Faa la la la la – la la la la

 

It should be a joyous season.

Fa la la la la – la la la la

Treat the thing with care and reason

Fa la la la la – la la la la

If you don’t, then be aware

Fa la la – fa la la –  la la la

It will need to be repaired

Faa la la la la – la la la la

 

If you’re reckless when you “tango.”

Fa la la la la – la la la la

It will swell up like a mango

Fa la la la la – la la la la

Then, forget the Christmas tree

Fa la la – fa la la –  la la la

You’ll be having surgery

Faa la la la la – la -la -la -laaaaa

 

Happy holidays to you men. Be careful. You don’t want surgery over the holidays. Bad time of year to make a boner.